Do you ever think back to the choices you’ve made and quietly wonder, “What if I had chosen differently? Would my life look different today?”
I do. More often than I’d like to admit.
There are moments when the past tries to call my name—times when I replay old conversations, old crossroads, old mistakes. I sometimes catch myself wondering what life might have been like if I had taken a different turn, made a different decision, or listened to wisdom I didn’t yet have. It’s human to revisit the chapters we aren’t proud of or the ones we don’t fully understand. It’s human to feel the tug of “what if.”
But through both victories and valleys, I’ve learned something that has brought so much freedom to my heart:
There is no peace, no healing, and no forward movement in the world of “what if.”
Living there keeps us stuck—stuck in regret, stuck in imagination, stuck in impossible scenarios where we rewrite a story that has already been lived.
And yet, it’s in those moments of reflection that a deeper truth begins to rise:
Everything we have walked through—yes, even the moments we wish we could erase—has shaped us in ways we never could have predicted.
Every choice you’ve made, good or bad, has carried you to where you stand today. But more importantly, every failure has done the same. We don’t always like to admit it, but failure plays a powerful role in our growth.
Failure is a teacher that success could never be. Success makes us celebrate. Failure makes us evaluate.
Failure humbles us, but it also sharpens us. It strengthens our character, grows our resilience, and reveals our blind spots. It forces us to pause, to recenter, and to ask, “What is this teaching me?”
Sometimes we needed to fail at certain things so we could finally succeed in what truly matters.
We needed to fail at the relationship we tried so hard to force so we could learn what love is not.
We needed to fail at a job or career path so we could discover the one aligned with our purpose.
We needed to fail at people-pleasing so we could learn the power of boundaries. We needed to fail at the plans we built on our own so we could embrace the ones God had prepared for us.
It’s not that failure is pleasant—it rarely is. But it IS purposeful. We don’t always see the purpose immediately. Sometimes it takes years. But eventually, as we grow, heal, and step into new chapters, we begin to understand that the things that broke us were also building us.
Romans 8:28 reminds us of this unshakeable truth: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (NIV)
Not in some things. Not only in the polished or pretty parts of our story, but in all things—every misstep, every closed door, every disappointment, every loss, every failure, every moment we felt ourselves fall short.
God doesn’t waste anything. He weaves it all together with a precision only He can execute. What felt like failure was often protection. What felt like rejection was often redirection. What felt like collapse was often the foundation for something stronger.
So instead of asking yourself, “What if I had chosen differently?” ask:
“What did this teach me?”
“How did this prepare me?”
“Can I choose differently today, now that I know better?”
Because today, you move with more wisdom than you used to. Today, you show up with more clarity. Today, you walk forward with a deeper understanding of who you are and who God is shaping you to be.
Your mistakes do not define you.
Your failures do not limit you.
Your past does not disqualify you.
You are a work in progress—held, guided, and continually shaped by a God who turns every page of your story into purpose.
And the person you are becoming?
They needed every chapter—every success and every stumble—that brought you here.
Lord, thank You for being a God who can redeem every part of my story. Help me release the heavy weight of regret and embrace the truth that You use both my successes and my failures for my good. Teach me to see my missteps as lessons, not limitations. Strengthen my heart to trust Your timing, Your wisdom, and Your plan. Guide me as I move forward with courage, clarity, and confidence, knowing the best is still ahead. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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