One of the most painful dynamics in a dysfunctional relationship is when the person who hurt you rewrites the story—and hands you the pen to “fix it.” They minimize your pain, twist your truth, and make you responsible for their brokenness. Suddenly, you’re not just dealing with the original wound—they’re making you the problem for feeling it.
Let’s be clear: that’s manipulation, not love. And it is not your cross to carry.
When someone mislabels your hurt—calling it “too sensitive,” “unforgiving,” or “dramatic”—they’re not acknowledging the pain they caused. Instead, they shift the weight onto you. It’s easier for them to silence your voice than to take responsibility for their actions. But God never called you to fix what someone else is unwilling to repent of.
God is not the author of confusion or condemnation. He is the God of truth, healing, and justice.
Scripture reminds us in Isaiah 61:1 that God “binds up the brokenhearted” and “sets the captives free.” That includes you. He never asks you to stay in bondage under the illusion of being a peacemaker when the “peace” costs your dignity, your voice, or your mental health.
Jesus taught us to walk in love and in truth (Ephesians 4:15). That means we can be grace-filled without being guilt-ridden. We can forgive, while still setting boundaries. And we can let go of toxic dynamics without walking away from God’s command to love—because love never requires self-abandonment.
You were never meant to carry the weight of someone else’s unrepentance.
If this resonates with you, take this to heart:
- Your emotions are valid—and God sees every tear (Psalm 56:8).
- You are called to peace—not people-pleasing (Romans 12:18).
- You are not responsible for fixing what someone else broke and refuses to repair.
Healing begins when we surrender the burden and let God step in. It may mean releasing the need to be understood, choosing distance over dysfunction, or simply saying, “This is not mine to carry.”
Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Not more to fix. Not more to prove. Just rest.
You are not “too much.” You are not “too broken.” You are beloved. And it’s time to stop carrying what was never yours.
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