Something that has had my blood boiling more than once this past year is this:
From a young age, so many little girls were taught that quietness equaled goodness. That being polite meant never disagreeing. That “children should be seen and not heard.”
And without realizing it, those words planted seeds that would grow into decades of silence.
For many of us, it started innocently enough—being praised for being the “good girl.” The one who didn’t talk back. The one who smiled sweetly and followed every rule.
But underneath the praise was a subtle and poisonous message:
Your voice is not welcome here.
So we learned to hold our tongue when something didn’t feel right. We learned to apologize even when we weren’t wrong. We learned to make ourselves small to keep the peace.
And as we grew older, that conditioning followed us—into classrooms, friend-ships, relationships, workplaces, and even churches.
We became women who second-guessed our worth; who mistook silence for strength. Women who believed that having opinions, boundaries, or convictions made us “too much.”
How many times have we been told that being outspoken makes a woman less desirable?
That confidence is arrogance?
That assertiveness is aggression?
It’s no wonder so many women carry the weight of shame when they dare to speak up. For generations, we were taught to dim our light for the comfort of others.
But what if we were never meant to be silent?
Scripture tells us in Proverbs 31:26,
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
That doesn’t sound like a woman who’s “seen and not heard.” That sounds like a woman who knows the power of her words—and uses them with both strength and grace.
When God created you, He didn’t make a mistake by giving you a voice. He didn’t equip you with discernment, compassion, and conviction only for you to stay quiet. He gave you those gifts so you could speak truth, bring light, and carry love into the world.
So maybe the healing begins when we start unlearning the lie that silence equals worthiness. When we stop apologizing for existing loudly. When we remind ourselves—and teach the next generation of girls—that their voices are not problems to manage but gifts to celebrate.
Because confidence and kindness can coexist. Boldness and grace can live in the same breath. And a woman who knows her worth and uses her voice is not “too much”—she’s walking in the fullness of who God made her to be.
If you grew up hearing, “Children should be seen and not heard,” I want you to know this:
You are allowed to take up space.
You are allowed to speak with passion.
You are allowed to use your voice—even if it shakes. Because the world needs women who are no longer afraid to be heard.
Women who will speak life.
Women who will speak truth.
Women who will speak hope.
Were you ever told to stay quiet or avoid “talking back” growing up?
How did that shape your confidence as an adult?
In what areas of your life have you silenced your own voice for fear of rejection or judgment?
What would it look like for you to begin reclaiming your voice today?
How can you encourage the next generation of girls to speak boldly and kindly?
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