How Pain Taught Me to Love Again
I’ve always been the kind of person who checked in.
The one who noticed when someone seemed a little off.
The one who remembered birthdays, sent texts “just because,” and picked up the phone to ask, “How are you?”
Loving people wasn’t something I had to force—it came naturally. I believed that part of my purpose was to be there for others.
But then… life happened.
The kind of life that knocks the wind out of you.
I found myself in a dark place. Emotionally drained. Spiritually weary. Mentally foggy.
And for the first time, I didn’t have it in me to be the strong one.
So I pulled back. Quietly. I stopped checking in. I stopped showing up. I told myself, If they care, they’ll notice I’ve gone silent. They’ll reach out.
But no one did.
And the silence was deafening.
I started believing the lie: “Maybe no one really cares about me like I care about them.”
That belief cut deep. It didn’t just hurt me—it changed me.
I became guarded.
I started pushing people away. Not dramatically, but subtly. I kept my heart tucked behind invisible walls. I stopped initiating conversations. I stopped caring—or at least, I tried to convince myself I did.
But here’s what I learned in that season:
Withholding love doesn’t protect you. It punishes you.
I thought I was preserving myself. Saving energy. Guarding my heart, but in reality, I was isolating myself even more. The very thing I needed—connection, care, presence—was the thing I was withholding, not just from others, but from myself.
And it hurt.
Eventually, I realized the real pain didn’t come from other people’s silence.
It came from me deciding to let that silence define my worth.
And that’s where God met me.
Not in a grand, lightning-bolt moment, but in the quiet. In the middle of my grief, God whispered a different truth:
“I never stopped caring for you. And you don’t need others to prove your value when I’ve already declared it.”
God reminded me that my ability to love is a reflection of His love in me.
And that love doesn’t have to be earned.
It doesn’t have to be returned.
It doesn’t disappear just because others forget to check in.
Jesus didn’t only love the people who loved Him back.
He loved the ones who abandoned Him, doubted Him, misunderstood Him—even the ones who hurt Him.
If He can love like that, surely I can learn to love again too.
Not from a place of performance, but from a place of healing.
Not because people always deserve it, but because I’m free to give it.
So I’m slowly coming back to the version of me who checked in.
Who cared.
Who showed up.
But this time, I’m doing it with stronger boundaries and deeper wisdom.
I now understand that my heart is a gift.
That love is not a transaction—it’s a calling.
And that choosing to love, even when it’s hard, is one of the most Christ-like things we can do.
If you’re reading this and you’ve been there…
If you’ve ever felt forgotten…
If you’ve pulled back from people you once loved because you didn’t feel loved in return…
If you’ve sat in silence, hoping someone would notice your pain…
Please hear this:
You are not invisible.
You are not unlovable.
You are not forgotten.
God sees the ache. He hears the silence. And He hasn’t pulled back from you—not for a second.
He’s inviting you to heal. To breathe again. To open your heart again—even if it’s scary.
Let Him restore the tenderness in you.
Let Him remind you of your true identity—one who is deeply loved and created to reflect that love into the world.
You don’t have to wait for others to show up first.
You can lead with love.
Even if it’s just one text.
One prayer.
One small, brave act of connection.
Because when you love again, you’re not just changing the world around you—You’re healing the world inside you.
#ChristianBlog #FaithJourney #EmotionalHealing #ChristianLiving #LoveLikeJesus #MentalHealthAndFaith #FaithOverFeelings #GodIsWithYou #HealingWithGod #GraceInTheHard #RedeemedAndRestored #FaithInTheDark #JesusHeals #ChristianEncouragement #SpiritualGrowth #LetGodHealYou #LoveAnyway #KeepShowingUp #LoveLikeChrist #ChristianCommunity #ForgiveAndHeal #RelationalHealing #LoveIsAChoice #VulnerabilityIsStrength #HeartWork #ChoosingLove